This paragraph is well-organized with some supporting details. However, it has several language problems that need to be addressed.
Dog owners can be categorized by their level of attention given to their dogs. The first and most dangerous type of dog owner is the one who neglects their dogs. This owner might endanger the dog's life by leaving the dog alone without replenished food and water for long stretches of time. Or by locking it inside a car on a hot, summer day. You should be severely punished for this type of behavior. Another unsavory type of dog owner is the person who loves their dog way too much. A way to check to see if you fit this category is to answer this question; Do you go shopping specifically for outfits for your dog? This dog owner might wake up early to cook special meals for their dog. But they would never do so for family members. I have a neighbor who comes home for lunch every day so that she can prepare a special lunch for her dog. She drives 15 minutes each way and spends the additional 30 minutes of her lunch chopping and carefully preparing a homemade meal for Sparky, their terrier. I'm sure Sparky appreciates the attention, what about her husband? Does she ever have any energy left to cook for him? You don't want to end up in a situation where your family members are jealous of the time you spend with your dog. The final category of dog owner is the one that gives the right amount of attention. Not too much and not too little. This dog owner makes sure that the dog has all of their basic necessities met; plenty of food, water, exercise, discipline, and affection. And they make sure the dog knows who the boss of the house is. The owner, not the dog. You will see this dog owner walking their dog, making regular veterinarian appointments and providing a healthy and safe home for the dog. I wish every dog owner fit into this last category.
Topic Sentences in Division Paragraphs
Your topic sentence should have two parts:
Topic + Main Idea
Topic: What you are analyzing:American blockbuster movies
Main Idea: What the result of your analysis is: reveal that in general Americans value specific body types for men and women.
Topic: What you are analyzing:American TV commercials
Main Idea: What the result of your analysis is: demonstrate that Americans have an obsession over food and dieting.
Sample Paragraph: America's eating habits point to a high value for convenience and service. First of all, Americans eat a large amount of fast food, and not just when they are on the road traveling to some distant destination. This can be evidenced by the long line of cars at the drive through of any fast food establishment at lunch hour on any given work day. American workers choose to eat fast food for lunch even though they have been told repeatedly that it is not only unhealthy, it is dangerously bad for us. Why would people choose to put their lives at risk in this way? The answer is simple; they eat food that falls well under the acceptable mark because it is quick and easy. The next type of food that is heavily consumed by Americans is frozen food. Of course they heat it up before they eat it, but it is purchased in convenient microwave ready packages, just minutes away from being mouth-ready. What is available in the freezer aisle? There is a section for every meal of the day, breakfast: waffles, breakfast sandwiches and burritos, and sausage links; lunch or dinner: hot sandwiches, hamburgers, pizza, entrees; and dessert: pie, cake, and ice cream of course. It might not need to be stated that there is not one single serving of fresh fruits or vegetables anywhere in the frozen food section. However, Americans stock up on frozen food because of the desire for fast and simple meals. Finally, if Americans decide to go healthier and fresher, they often choose to purchase pre-made food at the supermarket. Many markets now have large sections of refrigerated pre-cooked meals ready to be purchased, stripped of the cellophane top, and thrown in the microwave. The bad news is that these factory made meals are loaded with sodium and fat, but many Americans consider them equal to eating a home-cooked meal. They are popular options like fast food and frozen food because many Americans value convenience over other perhaps more important attributes, like healthy or fresh or full of what the body actually needs.
This paragraph is well-organized with some supporting details. However, it has several language problems that need to be addressed.
Dog owners can be categorized by their level of attention given to their dogs. The first and most dangerous type of dog owner is the one who neglects their dogs. This owner might endanger the dog's life by leaving the dog alone without replenished food and water for long stretches of time. Or by locking it inside a car on a hot, summer day. You should be severely punished for this type of behavior. Another unsavory type of dog owner is the person who loves their dog way too much. A way to check to see if you fit this category is to answer this question; Do you go shopping specifically for outfits for your dog? This dog owner might wake up early to cook special meals for their dog. But they would never do so for family members. I have a neighbor who comes home for lunch every day so that she can prepare a special lunch for her dog. She drives 15 minutes each way and spends the additional 30 minutes of her lunch chopping and carefully preparing a homemade meal for Sparky, their terrier. I'm sure Sparky appreciates the attention, what about her husband? Does she ever have any energy left to cook for him? You don't want to end up in a situation where your family members are jealous of the time you spend with your dog. The final category of dog owner is the one that gives the right amount of attention. Not too much and not too little. This dog owner makes sure that the dog has all of their basic necessities met; plenty of food, water, exercise, discipline, and affection. And they make sure the dog knows who the boss of the house is. The owner, not the dog. You will see this dog owner walking their dog, making regular veterinarian appointments and providing a healthy and safe home for the dog. I wish every dog owner fit into this last category.
Topic Sentences in Division Paragraphs
Your topic sentence should have two parts:
Topic + Main Idea
Topic: What you are analyzing:American blockbuster movies
Main Idea: What the result of your analysis is: reveal that in general Americans value specific body types for men and women.
Topic: What you are analyzing:American TV commercials
Main Idea: What the result of your analysis is: demonstrate that Americans have an obsession over food and dieting.
Sample Paragraph:
America's eating habits point to a high value for convenience and service. First of all, Americans eat a large amount of fast food, and not just when they are on the road traveling to some distant destination. This can be evidenced by the long line of cars at the drive through of any fast food establishment at lunch hour on any given work day. American workers choose to eat fast food for lunch even though they have been told repeatedly that it is not only unhealthy, it is dangerously bad for us. Why would people choose to put their lives at risk in this way? The answer is simple; they eat food that falls well under the acceptable mark because it is quick and easy. The next type of food that is heavily consumed by Americans is frozen food. Of course they heat it up before they eat it, but it is purchased in convenient microwave ready packages, just minutes away from being mouth-ready. What is available in the freezer aisle? There is a section for every meal of the day, breakfast: waffles, breakfast sandwiches and burritos, and sausage links; lunch or dinner: hot sandwiches, hamburgers, pizza, entrees; and dessert: pie, cake, and ice cream of course. It might not need to be stated that there is not one single serving of fresh fruits or vegetables anywhere in the frozen food section. However, Americans stock up on frozen food because of the desire for fast and simple meals. Finally, if Americans decide to go healthier and fresher, they often choose to purchase pre-made food at the supermarket. Many markets now have large sections of refrigerated pre-cooked meals ready to be purchased, stripped of the cellophane top, and thrown in the microwave. The bad news is that these factory made meals are loaded with sodium and fat, but many Americans consider them equal to eating a home-cooked meal. They are popular options like fast food and frozen food because many Americans value convenience over other perhaps more important attributes, like healthy or fresh or full of what the body actually needs.